Shower sex is one of those things that sounds better in theory than it often is in practice. Soothing hot steam, a sensual stream of water, the chance to soap each other up… what’s not to love? Then you realize that the water washes off pretty much all lubrication, natural or store-bought, and the cramped, slippery space is not exactly conducive to most positions. It’s a challenge for sure—but tackling that challenge can sometimes be part of the fun.
“Shower sex can ignite the senses,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. “The temperature, texture, and movement of water can heighten sensations across your entire body from head to toe to create a more full-bodied experience. As the water drips down your body, it can heighten awareness and trigger nerve ending responses.”
How do you make the most of this? “Of course, shower sex can be a little risky if you’re in a slippery tub, so you may want to use a high-quality shower mat or if you’re really keen, install grab bars designed specifically for accessibility,” says O’Reilly. “You’ll also want to keep a good quality silicone-based lube on hand; water-based lube will wash away more easily. And don’t feel pressure to have a specific type of sex in the shower (e.g. P-V intercourse); play with oral, manual, toys, and more—and feel free to start in the shower and then move things to your comfy bed as you become more aroused.”
It can be done. In fact, we found 16 men who have accomplished this impressive feat and asked them to share their tips below so that you, too, can master the art of shower sex.
Use silicone-based lube.
“Even if she’s incredibly turned on and already wet, the additional water can kinda mess with that. It’s just too much water. That’s why you want to use silicone-lube while in the shower. Water-based lubes will wash away immediately. But silicone is thicker, more likely to stay, and can help when you actually penetrate.” —Joe*
Use the bench.
“If you have a bench in the shower, use it, because it gives balance and makes you more stable so you don’t slip and fall in the shower. Plus, you can do more moves when using the bench—like you can do reverse cowgirl [or] just her on top, [or] doggy, and she can hold the bench.” —Ryan*
Get the shower head involved…
“It’s important not to be intimidated by sex aides in the shower. A partner that often uses a removable shower head for clitoral stimulation (or has yet to do so) can enhance the process by using the shower wand while you are positioned from behind. Standing in this position can be difficult for people if the height isn’t perfect, but insertion from behind while helping your partner hold the shower head can bring you closer together and make things even more intimate and explosive in the right ways.”—Max
… But don’t point the shower head directly on your junk.
“You need friction when you have sex, and when you have all that water sloshing around your dick and her vagina, you can’t actually get that friction. So I usually position myself [so] that the water is coming down on my back or my girlfriend’s [back]. This also helps with not getting water in either of our faces, which is a real mood killer.” — Simon*
Bring toys into the shower.
“Sometimes my GF will bring toys into the shower with us, like different vibrators and rings and stuff for more sensations there. The vibrating with the shower head is another thing you can do instead of toys for her.” —Devin
(Tip: Make sure your toys are waterproof before you take them in the shower.)
Don’t try advanced positions.
“I was having shower sex with my girlfriend for the first time and we wanted to do really intense stuff like in a bedroom—but DON’T, because it’s really different and not safe. Like, don’t do things where you hold her up, [or] stuff where no one is hanging onto a bench or wall or something stable on the floor of the tub. We ended up slipping—no one got [seriously] hurt, which was lucky, but it wasn’t good and left a bruise on her butt!” —Dave*
Take it all in.
“Shower sex can be hot and steamy and you get a good whole view of naked bodies, so take it in! When I have shower sex, I look around everywhere and feel like a lucky, lucky man for having this girl with me.” —John
Don’t get too rough.
“[It’s] not the time to go rough and do more kinky stuff. Save that for the bed where you have more stability and can move around more freely without worrying about falling and breaking all your bones!” —Seth*
Sex it up during her period.
“Shower sex can be a good way to have sex when it’s that time, and it doesn’t leave blood everywhere or on our bodies, which is nice.” —Gabe*
Finish in the bedroom.
“Just because you started in the shower doesn’t mean you have to finish there. My girlfriend and I do more foreplay in the shower, like I finger her and stuff. We make out. She jacks me off. But when we actually start getting to fucking, we quickly dry ourselves off and head to the bedroom.” —Stephen*
Invest in a mat.
“Use a bath mat for footing. I’ve slipped before! Positions that require less movement are great, especially with the receiving partner on top. Watch how long you’re running the water! Nothing kills a moment like cold or lukewarm water. Showers are nice because they afford a fun chance for aftercare in bathing with your partner. It’s vulnerable and tender and I love it.”—Alex
Get on your knees for oral.
“I generally don’t care for shower sex because I’m tall and have usually had small showers and a lack of leg strength to get low enough to penetrate and thrust. But there are workarounds, and shower oral is very fun. When going down on your partner in the shower, have them between you and the water stream so that you don’t get water up your nose and the water doesn’t distract you from the wondrous glory of your partner’s genitalia. I love being on my knees in the shower, burying my face in a pussy or ass to worship it. During shower intercourse, have at least one free arm to support your partner in case of slipping.”—Lee
Think beyond the genitals.
“Touch the whole body. The skin is more smooth when it’s wet. That can be nice for massaging the skin, or rubbing bodies together with a little pressure makes for some unique sensations.”—Derek*
Make use of the soap.
“Don’t make the water too hot. You don’t want to get light-headed. Plus, the cold water can stimulate certain areas. Specifically, I’m thinking of nipples and, speaking of which, my main tip would be to take some soap and do a soapy nipple massage, which I find to be very sensual as both giver and receiver. Oh, also, even if you aren’t in a bath and you’re taking a shower, you can still sit on the floor of the shower to do certain positions to make it easier to avoid slipping. Oh, and if either person is interested in doing any massaging or caressing of the anus, it’s a good place to do that kind of stuff since the water will already be there to get it clean before any sort of play.”—Jason
Fall down a Youtube rabbit hole so you don’t fall in the shower.
“For your own safety, watch a series of bloopers of people falling in the shower so you can have a solid set of mental models around what NOT to do (e.g. putting too much weight on shower doors/curtains, slipping, etc.). Avoid using most common household shower products as lube. Most soaps, shampoos, and conditioners contain sodium sulfates that act as drying agents and are not friendly to your moist inner bits. Pre-communicate whether either of you want to use this as an opportunity for piss play, or overcoming pee shyness.”—Steve
Upgrade your shower.
“Invest in handles for some grip. There are great suction cup handles on the market that can be really helpful when getting soaked and stroked.”—Daniel
