One of the most intimate and joyous pre-wedding events is the bridal shower. Dedicated to showering the bride with attention and gifts ahead of the big day, it’s an exciting moment to celebrate with loved ones and build momentum for upcoming nuptials. While couples today don’t need to adhere to every tradition when planning their wedding events, a bridal shower has a few etiquette protocols that many follow when arranging the party.
From creating the guest list to choosing the perfect menu for the celebration, there are plenty of details that go into organizing this pre-wedding event. Want to learn everything you need to know to plan a bridal shower? Read ahead for a full breakdown.
Who Throws and Attends a Bridal Shower?
While a bridal shower was traditionally thrown by the maid of honor and bridesmaids, the etiquette surrounding it has changed over the years. Today, it can be up to anyone close to the bride to host the event. Often, the responsibility will be held by the mother of the bride, another close female family member, or a few family members together. In some cases, there could be multiple showers for the bride if different people offer to host one. This can happen if the bride lives far from their hometown and family members want to throw a local event, or if the bridal party wants to host a friends-only shower. While there can be some surprise elements to a shower, those organizing the event should consult with the bride to get insights on the menu, location, how they would like the event to look, and the guest list.
So, who should be placed on the guest list? Typically, guests will include the bridal party, close female family members, and good friends of the bride who will be attending the wedding. Of course, this list can vary and include guests of all genders. You can also tailor the event if you want it to be more intimate. While the bride should provide a desired guest list, the selection ultimately will come down to the host.
What Happens at a Bridal Shower?
A bridal shower can vary based on the host’s plans, but the basic rundown includes food and drinks, time for guests to connect with each other, and gift opening. Most bridal showers are hosted either as a lunch or brunch, but they can be held in the evening as well. It’s very common for a bridal shower to include games—ranging from trivia about the bride and their spouse-to-be, to designing a dress out of toilet paper, to themed scavenger hunts. A host can also offer an activity that aligns with a theme for guests to enjoy like a spa day, tarot readings, or a cooking class.
While brides traditionally open gifts at the bridal shower, they can request their host to opt out of this moment if they would like to keep it private. If gifts are opened at the event, a common tradition in the United States is for the maid of honor to save all the ribbons from the gifts and transform them into a faux bouquet for the bride to carry down the aisle during the wedding rehearsal.
Near the end of the bridal shower, the bride’s fiancé can arrive with a bouquet as a gift for the bride and spend some time greeting guests before they leave. While this is a less formal part of the celebration, hosts may choose to add an extra special moment once the couple is together, like bringing out a cake or organizing for them to play the “newlywed game” in front of guests.
What Is the Etiquette Around Bridal Shower Gifts?
Since a bridal shower is all about “showering” a bride with gifts before the wedding day, guests shouldn’t arrive to this celebration empty-handed. Still, don’t feel obligated to shell out as much money as you would for a regular wedding present. Typically, these gifts are more modest, less expensive, and, occasionally, personalized more to the bride. Event organizers will often include the wedding registry information on the invitation so guests can select items off the list. If the shower has a certain theme, guests can also tailor their present selection to fit the event like a plush robe for a spa celebration or cookware for a cooking class party.
Since gifts are usually opened at the shower, attendees should bring the wrapped present along to the event. If a guest is invited to the shower but is unable to attend, they are not expected to send a gift.
How Should I Plan a Bridal Shower?
If you’re the bridal shower host, the first thing you should do is connect with the bride to get an idea of what they would want the shower to look like. While decisions are ultimately up to the host, it’s best to keep the bride’s wishes in mind. If you want to have a theme for the bridal shower, decide on this early so you can tailor the rest of your planning choices to incorporate this ethos into the event.
Once you have an idea of how large the guest list will be, you should find a location that can appropriately fit the group. Venues and private restaurant spaces can be rented for the event, but don’t rule out hosting the event at a family home where you might have more flexibility for the festivities. As you’re choosing a bridal shower venue, it’s a good idea to look into what services are available for your party size. A location that covers food, staffing, and decor will be better for your budget than bringing in catering and rentals to a backyard celebration.
Invitations to a bridal shower should be sent out at least four to six weeks ahead of the event to allow proper time for guests to RSVP and make travel plans, if needed. While physical invitations are always a nice touch, it’s very common to send digital invites via email from services like Paperless Post. Make sure the invitations include important information like location, time, dress code, and a gift registry, if there is one. You can also request any dietary restrictions be noted with the RSVP.
One of the most important planning details is the bridal shower menu. The format of a bridal shower meal can vary by celebration, but there should likely be a number of appetizers available as guests are mingling and a proper meal. This can come in the form of a multi-course seated service or a buffet. Be sure to offer a variety of options if there are a number of dietary restrictions amongst the guests and choose some crowd favorites that you know everyone will love. Also, don’t forget to offer a delicious dessert at the end of the meal. For beverages, a selection of wines, non-alcoholic drinks, and even a fun specialty cocktail that the bride loves may be served.
While your venue might have great decor in place, it’s always a good idea to prepare some extra pieces to bring the festivities to the next level. Consider bringing in special floral arrangements, linens, or signage to enhance the ambiance. Hosting at home? Get in contact with your local event rental company to make sure you have enough seating and dinnerware available. If you plan to have a few games throughout the event, make sure to prepare all the supplies that may be needed in advance to accommodate all guests. Printouts of the rules of any games can also be helpful so everyone can easily participate.
A final touch you shouldn’t forget? The event playlist. Chat with the bride to curate some of her favorite songs so you can set the mood for the celebrations to come.
