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Despite having gone to college together, author Iman Hariri-Kia and Matthew’s love story started during the summer of 2016, when the pair bumped into each other while both trying to Irish exit the same New York City club. “My aunt lived close by, and I drunkenly convinced her doorman to give me the keys to the roof of her building, so we could keep talking,” Iman remembers. “We went up there and spoke candidly about anything and everything until the sun began to rise. It was so simple and sweet and purely platonic. But that night, everything changed.” Six years later, Matthew proposed on that very same rooftop.
Eight years after their New York City meet-cute, the pair invited family and friends to Portugal to enjoy a three-day wedding extravaganza. “Post-revolution, my [Iranian] family moved all across the diaspora, while my husband’s is mainly in England, so we hoped to choose a location that felt convenient and accessible to all,” Iman explains. “Additionally, Lisbon was the very first place that my husband and I traveled together, almost eight years ago. We wanted our guests to experience it all, to take them on a journey that mimicked the feeling of falling in love. It was the perfect backdrop for our cultural hybrid wedding.”
The festivities started with a welcome party at an old manor called Casa Dos Penedos in Sintra. Iman wore a demi-couture look by Conner Ives—a longtime friend of the bride. “I grew up with Conner—he was literally my date to sweet sixteens—and adore him, so wearing him to my wedding weekend felt so full circle,” Iman says. Another longtime friend surprised the couple by singing opera while two of Iman’s bridesmaids gave a speech. “They dramatically tore up their speech and free-styled on the spot,” Iman recalls.
The wedding took place the following day in Setúbal, 30 minutes south of Lisbon. Iman walked down the aisle with both of her parents in a custom Danielle Frankel Rosalie dress (“the only wedding dress I ever loved and the only one I needed to try on,” she says ) while “Danny’s Song” and “How Sweet It Is to Be Loved Be You” were played on an acoustic guitar. “My bridal look was inspired by old Persian tapestries and miniatures from the Qajar period, which, as I previously wrote about for Vogue, transformed my relationship to my own beauty and self-worth,” Iman explains.
The wedding combined a Western ceremony with the customs of aghd, a traditional Persian ceremony. After they exchanged vows and rings, the pair kissed and said “I do” before taking a seat at the traditional Persian ceremonial table, the sofreyé aghd. “While we were taking our seats at the table and I was lowering my veil, the entire audience serenaded us by singing ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You,’” Iman recalls. “It was so special. My mother read a poem that was read aloud at her own aghd, and then my father led the ceremony.”
The sofreyé aghd holds items that symbolize the life the newlyweds will share: a mirror representing eternity, candlesticks representing a burning passion, and fresh fruit representing their joyous and fruitful life together. Once the ceremony began, female family members were invited to hold the piece of fabric, known as a sofreh, over the couple’s heads and add stitching and sugar grinds into the fabric. “It was so hot the day we were married that my husband had to fan me while this was going on, because I was melting beneath my veil,” Iman says.
And when the officiant asked Iman if she would take this man to be her husband, she refused twice before finally saying yes. (Don’t worry: This is also a Persian tradition.) “The goal of this practice is to make guests, and the groom, a bit nervous by making them wait. It definitely worked: I saw some of our Western guests looking a wee bit concerned!” Iman admits. Once the bride finally accepted, guests rejoiced by loudly clicking their tongues in celebration. “Semi-terrifying to the virgin ear—I once again saw some freaked-out Americans and Englishmen!” Imans laughs. The bride’s veil was removed and they exchanged honey as a symbol of a life of sweetness together. Guests were then invited up to share gifts and sign the aghd nameh. “We now have ours framed in our apartment,” Iman says. “It has over 200 signatures.”
After the ceremony, attendees were ushered to a sunset cocktail hour overlooking the mountains while they enjoyed craft cocktails and marveled at custom matchbooks that read, “The Most Famous Wedding in the World”—a cheeky reference to the bride’s sophomore novel The Most Famous Girl in the World that was published the following month. After a tearful speech from the newlyweds, guests were led through to the vineyard to where the reception dinner took place. Everyone gathered around one long table lined with a pink and red striped tablecloth, colorful ceramics from local Portuguese artisans, and towering wildflower arrangements from the very gardens they sat in. “The best part? The dinner menus were modeled after the structure of a book, complete with a ‘table of contents’ and courses broken into chapters,” Iman says.
With the help of multiple rounds of espresso martinis, Persian music, and a few disco balls, the night turned into a full-fledged party. “It quickly got very sweaty and rowdy, like any good Persian or English romp should. My family helped teach all our Western guests classic Persian dance moves, like the ‘lightbulb,’” says Iman. “I joined the band on the stage to serenade my fiancé with ‘Like a Prayer’ by Madonna and my sister and I shared a special dance to Abba’s ‘Chiquitita,’ while guests threw rose petals at our feet.”
Before the night came to a close, there was time for one final Persian wedding tradition: the knife dance, where each of Iman’s bridesmaids performed short, seductive dances with the cake knife. “We could tell our American and English guests were loving it and several even gave it a whirl including my new mother-in-law,” Iman says. “Eventually, we got our knife back and used it to cut our fresh strawberry shortcake—my childhood favorite—and danced until four in the morning!”
Festivities wrapped up the next day with a goodbye party at Praia Princesa Beach Club. Guests nursed their hangovers with dips in the ocean before sitting down for a menu of freshly caught fish and spritzes. Ariel Matluck, of Anchor Walk, fashioned necklaces out of shells guests found along the sand, while Jo Malone designed custom scent experiences for the attendees. “Jo debuted a cherry blossom and rose water scent for me, symbolizing who I was before, and who I am becoming now, as a married woman.”
Finally, Iman finished off her weekend of bridal looks with an embroidered beach tote that read, “The Most Famous Bride in the World.” Iman says, laughing: “I couldn’t help myself!”
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Photo: Días de Vino y Rosas
The view from Casa Dos Penedos is straight out of a fairy tale. We wanted guests to feel like they were experiencing all of Portugal’s microclimates, from the mountainous regions of Sintra, to the seaside village of Setúbal.
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Photo: Días de Vino y Rosas
The old manor is as beautiful and vibrant on the outside as it is inside, painted in shades of rose pink, turquoise, and white, and featuring grand stone arches, transporting guests to a different time.
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Photo: Días de Vino y Rosas
The ballroom where our rehearsal dinner was held was reminiscent of a bacchanalia, so we decided to lean in. Our planner Sofia Nascimento nailed the fresh fruit and flower arrangements, burgundy candles, shell glassware. I could feel the spirit of Dionysus permeating through the walls.
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Photo: Días de Vino y Rosas
Here I am in my custom Conner Ives demi-couture dress, which we fitted over the course of months and continents. I felt like a siren, and the shell detailing even matched the glasses! My clutch is from Isfahan and belonged to my late grandmother.
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Photo: Días de Vino y Rosas
Inês from Prettie Wedding Design created menus that matched the original wallpaper in the house. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first walked into the room—the artwork was uncanny!
