WITH SEXUAL HEALTH education being notoriously poor in the United States, many of us still have a lot of questions when it comes to having intercourse. Even though we want to have it safely and take proper precautions, we have no idea how.
Well, when it comes to “safe sex,” one of the first steps is condoms. But be warned, there is technically no such thing as 100% “safe sex,” which is why many sex educators now opt for the term “safer sex.” There are still emotional and physical risks while wearing a condom. And, as we’ll discuss later in this article, you can still get many STIs (sexually transmitted infections) while wearing a condom.
Luckily, condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. But as Planned Parenthood notes, “People aren’t perfect, so in real life condoms are about 87% effective — that means about 13 out of 100 people who use condoms as their only birth control method will get pregnant each year.”
With the help of sex experts, we’re going to share how to make condoms as effective as possible, decreasing user error and getting that number back up to 98%.
Proper condom storage
Using a condom correctly starts long before you go rolling it on; it starts when you purchase and store the condom. “It is important to keep condoms in temperature-regulated spaces that do not receive direct sunlight,” says queer sex educator Gabrielle Kassel. That means you don’t want to keep condoms in your glove department if you live someplace warm or underneath your window. You also don’t want to keep the condom someplace that is going to be enduring a lot of friction, such as your wallet, back pocket, or the bottom of your backpack. “The friction can create micro-tears in the condom that makes it more prone to ripping, as well as potentially make space for infectious pathogens and sperm to seep through,” Kassel says.
Checking the expiration date
“Make sure you always check the date on the wrapper to ensure the condom is not expired as expired condoms can more easily break,” says Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and resident intimacy expert at dating app, 3Fun. The expiration date is typically listed on the back of the condom. If you don’t see an expiration date for whatever reason, throw that condom away and use a condom with an expiration date.
How to put on the condom correctly
You can only roll the condom down over your penis in one direction. Engle recommends pinching the tip of the condom, that part that looks like a little hat or hipster beanie, and see if it rolls down. If you try to roll it down and find that you cannot because it keeps getting stuck on itself, you have put it on the wrong way.
If you do find yourself putting the condom on the wrong way and it has touched your penis, “you should toss the condom and opt for a new one,” Kassel says. “Continuing to use the condom would mean that the side that has touched your penis is now going to touch your partner’s vagina or anus, which could lead to STI transmission.”
Pinching the tip of the condom also serves a second purpose beyond determining if you’re rolling on the condom the correct way. It leaves room for your ejaculate. “If you don’t pinch the tip, you risk breakage when you ejaculate,” Engle says.
How to take off the condom properly
“After you ejaculate, you want to hold the rim of the condom along the base of your shaft. Then, exit,” Kassel says. “Ideally, you want to do this before your penis becomes soft and do not want to linger. If your penis becomes soft, the rim can become loose against your shaft, which can create a gap through which ejaculate can seep out.”
Note that all condoms are designed for single use, so throw away the condom after using it.
You still risk getting STIs
“If you use them the right way every time you have sex, condoms are highly effective in preventing HIV infection,” the CDC says. “Condoms can also help prevent other STDs [sexually transmitted diseases] you can get through body fluids, like gonorrhea and chlamydia. However, they provide less protection against STDs spread through skin-to-skin contact, like human papillomavirus or HPV (genital warts), genital herpes, and syphilis.”
Using lubes
With latex condoms (which most condoms are made of), you can use water-based and silicone-based lubes. “Avoid using an oil-based lubricant with latex condoms as this can degrade the integrity of the condom, which will make it more likely to tear,” Kassels says.
You should keep trying out different types of condoms until you find your Goldilocks condom, Kasel continues. You want your condom fit to be snug but not so tight that it is uncomfortable. Too tight condoms can increase the risk of breakage, while too loose condoms can slip off or promote the seepage of bodily fluids. For a list of Men’s Health condom recommendations, head over here.
