Don’t Set Your Goals in Stone — Mold Them Like Clay

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Everything is malleable and can change depending on where you are in your life and career.

July 24, 2024

Juan Moyano/Stocksy


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  • A popular analogy compares our goals to rocks in a jar: put the big rocks (your most valued goals) in the jar first, or else the smaller (less important) rocks will take up all the space. But goals aren’t rocks; in fact, they’re more like balls of soft clay that require molding as much as prioritizing. To better mold your goals to your stage in life and what’s important to you, work through a four-step process that breaks your goals into values and definitions of success. The flexibility this molding facilitates will not only help you understand what’s really important to you, but will allow you to change and adjust your goals over time.

    Take a moment to reflect on your goals. If you’re like us, they probably include getting your work done to a high standard, spending time with partners, friends and children, exercising, finding moments of mindfulness, eating well, and many other things large and small. It’s also common to have multiple goals that are in some degree of conflict; everything on the previous list competes for our time and resources.

    • LK


      Lauren Kuykendall is an Associate Professor of Industrial-Organizational Psychology at George Mason University. Her research explores organizational and individual strategies for promoting well-being.


    • Valerie Tiberius is the Paul W. Frenzel Chair in Liberal Arts and Professor of Philosophy at the University of Minnesota. Her most recent book is What Do You Want out of Life?: A Philosophical Guide to Figuring Out What Matters (Princeton University Press, 2023).


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